The Regulars by Georgia Clark

December 9, 2016

 This is not a book afraid of a little raunch. Or a lot of raunch, actually. I had no idea what it was about when I downloaded it—I do that sometimes, and usually it works out— but this surprised me. Here’s the basic premise: three flailing millennial New Yorkers stumble upon a magic potion that transforms them into stunning, supermodel-ish physical perfection. Reading it, I thought maybe it would enhance their current appearance, wiping out their blemishes and smoothing over their flaws like an ultimate makeover, but instead it changes their looks altogether. Which is a bit of an issue in carrying on with their lives, since no one can recognize them.

 

Evie is a lesbian feminist copywriter at a superficial magazine, Willow is a struggling artist with a famous, wealthy father, and Krista is a dingbat trying to make it in acting. Evie is the most likable of the three, but none of them is going to pluck anyone’s heartstrings: they are basically the personification of Bad Decisions. So when an acquaintance of Krista’s gives her a little bottle of a tincture called Pretty, telling her it will make her beautiful, Krista goes all-in. Unfortunately, the acquaintance fails to mention the side effects accompanying the transformation process. In an episode reminiscent of the infamous gown-trying-on scene in Bridesmaids, Krista suffers a ghastly gastrointestinal explosion after she ingests the Pretty, but whatever. It’s all worth it, because she gets all gorgeous and immediately lands a movie role. Evie and Willow are slightly more cautious, but they succumb too, and yep: everyone’s deepest suspicions are confirmed. Pretty people have more fun.  

 

If you like irreverent, funny reads, you'll likely enjoy this book. If you are amused by diarrhea bombs, masturbation fails, and guys with extremely small …hands… then it’s definitely for you ;)

 

The book was helpful to me in this regard: I’ve ruled out chugging the Pretty if I ever run across any. 

 

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Buy The Regulars HERE

 

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